I wasn’t born “Sister” Hena, just in case someone wants to write me off as a stodgy auntie on her pulpit. So then why are we so quick to jump on the “burden of virginity” train? If everyone started to exercise their personal agency without regard for any rules or guidelines–Divine or societal–what a mess would we be in! This call to not feel guilty about pre-marital sex is so hypocritical, because the minute you sign a piece of paper, and acquire a spouse, somehow all those habits–years of casually sleeping with just anyone–are supposed to come to an end, and your husband has to remain loyal to you, and you are supposed to remain loyal to him, otherwise suffer the devastation that cheating wreaks on a family, especially families with children.Ĭan we imagine our mothers having casual sex with whomever they will, or our fathers? (Actually, let’s try not to imagine our parents having sex, period. There is nothing revolutionary about casual sex.Īnimals have been “doing it” since time began…and some of the more intelligent animals in the animal kingdom actually don’t have casual sex instead, they mate monogamously, some for life.Įven the term “casual sex” is just nonsensical, because there’s nothing casual about the most intimate part of a person’s life. Sex is so much more than just a bodily function it’s the sharing of bodies, of emotions, of intimacy, and if you are a believer, a mingling of souls, a sacred act of truth, and of giving and receiving. Where was it farmed? Is it organic? Artisan? Pasture raised, or cage free? Yet when comes to sharing our most private moments, we are being asked to do so with just anyone, and this is supposed to be “empowering” and healthy?! That doesn’t quite make sense. It’s not even like eating–a need and a desire that we fulfill–heck, in today’s culture we are so particular about what we eat, how we cook it, and where we get the ingredients from. Sex isn’t (excuse my language) pooping just a bodily function that’s gotta happen when we feel the urge. The peer pressure isn’t just coming from non-Muslims anymore now it’s even coming from Muslims writing about it in mainstream news outlets. So many people telling you to just “let go” of the boundaries you have set for yourself, urging you to “live it up,” live a little (because YOLO, right?!) and enjoy a pleasurable activity with anyone who pleases you at that moment. To wait for the right person to get married to. We invite you to explore alternative views on this topic provided on and welcome your submissions, letters, and responses to get it. Effective conversations require an openness to various viewpoints, and that’s what we endeavor to provide. We do not endorse any particular position, except to empower Muslim women’s voices by providing a safe space for the dialogue we need to have that is not being had elsewhere, like the one taking place in response to this article. We seek to provide an outlet for the diversity of Muslim women’s thoughts, opinions, and stories in our efforts to combat the common silencing of our community as a monolith. Editor’s Note: The opinions expressed in this article, such as those across our entire platform, are not a reflection of the views of Muslim Girl or its staff.
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